Have updated properly in ages

Been a pretty busy week, so i havent got round to posting. Just to fill you in on the Car Carsh, ill explain what happened. In my friends Car, we basically went round the corner, had laods of oversteer ( thats when the back end slides) spun the car, then hit somthing (my guess a tree) fliped over (maybe twice) rolled down a bank. we where all fine ( 4 of us). we had ablulence, fire engine , and police ( whole 9 yards). pretty scary to think about ( i think i might havbe over used the bracket button). (bracket). anyway im not one of those, of "I could have died i must live life to the fullest now types" so i shall not dwell on it to long. Manged to get myself a job , pulling pints at the football stadium, bog stadard and boring. Anyway nobody tunes in to hear about my life... in fact nobody tunes in at all they surf in??..

Havn't done a review in a while so i shall now

My Iron

The Iron is a most undervalued and important factors in mordern society. Without the iron many a job would be lost and many a bussiness deal would not be done. Say if you where closing a bussiness deal and a man you where dealing with had a creased shirt, you would walk out in amazment proclaiming " i shall not deal with you mr creased man, what if your creased based economics infest my otherwise flat enterprises". then you would be carted off to the lonny bin (just round the corner form the recyling and bargin bins). Iron's and the act of ironing play a integral and wide ranging part in society.

My Iron is a "Phillips Azur 4015" which i was fairly certian till now was a place/ country.
It has many features which are listed on the side " Drip stop" which i assume stops dripping " Vertical" which means you store it vertically, this confuses me because it would burn thinsg stored horizontally. Finally my personal favorate automatic anti- calc" which could mean a number of things but i if i had to guess ( which for the purpose of good entertainment, i am being held at gun point till i do guess) means anti calcium, which is untterly usless to me as i live in a soft water area where there is little calcium in the water. It has a selction of buttons , none of which i have any idea what they do, neither do i care, much like the pre- reviewed kettle its a simple beast and needs to be swicthed on and be hot. In all honsety its very good at being hot with its steamyness.

Looks: 6/10 - Green and white are nice but are fairly boring
User friendly- 2/ 10 - complex buttons only my mother understands
Being Hot- 10/10 - highly important
Upgradable- 0/10

a fairly good score, making this Iron up there with the best .

Another Review:

My Mother's parking

My mother like all mother has eyes in the back of her head, they come free with the anti natal classes, she always knew when i had broken somthing ,when i was about to steal some chocolate and indeed when im about to sneak 3 hookers and a load of crack upstairs. However has this set of eyes helped her with her Parking. Standard reviewing parking rules state that parking shoudl be messured in the following 4 ways, accuracy, style, space used and finally Cats

accuracy: Frankly apauling as you can see the car is at a angle to close to the grass at the top and too far away at the bottom, ( Note windscreen wipers in upright postion for no good reason it didnt rain today)


Style: Here my mothers parking scores highly, the car has been drivin in at a angle and yes this means low scores on accuracy and space but it does suggest to much speed, it has a touch of the end of a car advert about itSpace used: This due to the acward angle is bad taking about way to much room for such a small car , around 24 metres square as seen belowCats : we all know that cats like a nice bit of parking, better to sit under when raining and better to sit on when hot, this really is the acid test when it comes to parking. From the evidence below they seem to enjoy it (yes that is one of my cats by the number plate)
Accuracy : 2 / 10
Style: 7 / 10
Space used : 3 / 10
Cats: 8 / 10

Overall Score: 5 /10

I do not pretend to be bored

Never do a sociology exam hung over it’s not big and it’s not clever...
Any who? I was bored and sitting on a bus in a thunderstorm (the very same one as my friend got drenched in.. ha ha) I don't like buses and I defiantly don’t like storms (childhood phobia) and we come across a traffic Jam which is annoyingly large and it got my head thinking, and on the back of my art A2 brief i wrote the following


Traffic Jam Equation:

Tr= Number Of Transit Vans
C= Comfort= (Price of car/1000) / N {N =Number of (relatives/Chav's) in Car}
A= Awkward ness = Lateness (Mins) * Need (Out of Ten)
P= Number of pretty cars visible
B= Number of annoying Bmw drivers visible
Ca= Number of cats you own
An= Annoyance= boredom (out of ten) * Anger (out of ten)
TJC= Traffic Jam calculation

Equ:

Tr * (lateness * need) + (boredom * Anger) + B

/

P * ({price of car/1000} / N) + Ca

= Traffic Jam Calculation

Or (Simplify)

(Tr * A + An + B) / (P * C + Ca) = TJC

TJC< 50

TJC> 50 Bad Day

My kettle 

PRINCE ALI

listening to aladin soundtrack it is the most fun ive had in at least 20 mins, when i dancing round the garden to Frank Sinatra, once again a compelty usless but happy day. Not gonna bother tackling some board issue like politics or world poverty today but reveiw somthing which effects me daliy and is vital to my life. In this modern day of the interweb everything is reviewed by poeple, for example my Mp3 player when i went to buy it i surf the web for hours looking for reviews to make sure i was getting the right one. so i have chossen to write a review on my.......

Kettle

Stats :

Make: Swan
Capasity: 1.5 litres
Hight: 20 cm ( i guess)
Witih: 16 cm (maybe)
Heating system: Hot metal thingy
Opertaing system: Swicth (Binary Labaling)

Review:

The Swan (1.5 litre) is as most kettle's are in essance built around its fuction , and its styling shows. Its plain white look is dull and drab, although white as a colour has been used extensivly in design to good effect ( Ipod) the feel of this is more than white is the cheapest colour or plastic they could find. It ,as you would exepect boils water well. it does not doing anything else for example filter the water, add chemicals to the water or tell you when you doctors appiontment is due. It perfroms its one and only fuction well however the noise is louder than its competitors more like the old style hob based kettle than like the much quieter way of boiling your water ( on the engine of a 2.0 bmw convertable). its naviagtion (operating system) is a basic switch which severes its fuction well however the binary label does not account for blind people.

Score

Sound: 3 /10
Speed: 7/ 10
Style: 2/ 10
Compatibilty with windows Xp : 0/ 10

In short:

The kettle has many bad points , however is functionablity and price makes it a ideal choice for first time home owners and greasy students

Overall: 4 / 10

see picture below

Boredom strikes (dum de dum dum dum... Not a shredies rip off)

Hello you people out there, why are you here don't you have lives. Really I mean come on. Bored, boring day, not happy or sad just Dan, Going to London tomorrow to meet lepbit Opik Mp and other such MP'S , oh and get hideously drunk. The trip to London last year was one big booze up so I don't imaging this will be any diffrent. Nobody reads this shit I hope. Always wandering what consistency silly string is in the can, solid liquid or gas, are there some sort of silly vats full of the stuff , if so if you swam in the stuff would you be a some how sillier person as if effected by extreme silly ness.......... Discuss? (24 mark)